Category Archives: funny books

After Christmas

After Christmas


It’s come and gone again.

Since November 17, Peter and I got a new dog, Jack. He’s very cute and mellow and happy. Good boy, Jack.Jack 7

We also did 2 turkey dinners in quick succession–10 days apart. That was after the turkey dinner we took part in on November 13 during our trip to Freezing Michigan.

I published a new holiday book (Deck the Malls with Purple Peacocks) which is a very good book. It got some great reviews:

And I promoed the heck out of. It got 5288 downloads on its free days in December with the help of Freebooksy and ENT and Kindle Nation Daily.  Also got help from Lola at Lola’s Blog Tours with getting exposure. I was part of a big FB Christmas hop and I even started a mailing list. I also had 34 actual purchases of my books. W00T!

I sent over 100 Christmas cards and I shopped a lot online and I picked out a tree and decorated it with our great homestay student, Mizuki after the hubs and son put it up. Christmas tree 2017 AThen I said a reluctant goodbye to  Mizuki, who had to go back to Japan to work.  I listened to a friend with a looming divorce and played many games of Words with Friends with a bunch of word addicts like myself.

I produced and directed (and wrote and coached and was the costume girl and prop boy for) our Reader’s Theater play at the Atria Golden Creek Assited Living; Let it Snow. We had a blast. My 70-90 year-olds all read very well. A Father Knows Best episode from 1953 was the basis for the play, but I had to fluff it up quite a bit to make it funny and Christmas shiny. Whew. RT show Christmas Let it Snow 2017 1

I wrapped a bunch of gifts. Thank you, Amazon, for quick delivery. Plus your wish list system is the bomb. My son loved his board game and the other one loved his Instant Pot.

I swam maybe 2-3 days a week all this time and walked most days as well. I watched too many Hallmark movies because I want happy endings. (Who doesn’t?) But man, the commercials on those things really want to prepare you for the worst life has to offer in medical issues and treatments that can kill you. And the annoying soundtracks of the movies, with unnecessary, stupid music during every scene–please, Hallmark. Please!!!! You make me crazy. Plus, many of your male leads look like underwear models from the 1970s. And your writing is just sketchy.

I made cookies and coffee cakes. Oh, man. I love fresh coffee cake. I sang carols and ate chili on Christmas Eve with my friend Rita and all her gang and mine. I made brunch for the family on the big day.

And now, I am pooped. I don’t want to prepare anything for anyone. Except this blog.

Happy New Year.


Join Thursday Night Book Club this week to discuss Deck the Malls!

Join Thursday Night Book Club this week to discuss Deck the Malls!

Deck the Malls with Purple Peacocks is FREE today and tomorrow!!!! Grab your FREE copy at

And here’s the event site if you’d like to join our discussion of Deck the Malls with Purple Peacocks this upcoming Thursday (which is also the winter solstice–cool).

There will be prizes at the discussion! Hope to see you there!

Thurs night book club ad Dec 21 2017

Readers’ Favorite 5-star Review for Alice in Monologue Land

Readers’ Favorite 5-star Review for Alice in Monologue Land

Below, find the amazing and wonderful review for Alice in Monologue Land that Readers’ Favorite said via email last summer that they had found no one to do. Guess this lovely lady did do a review in September, after all, and the email about it to me got lost in political spam. Well, I didn’t go hunting for Alice’s page on Readers’ Favorite until today, when I thought I’d bite the bullet and pay for a review. But to my surprise, here it is! A freebie! 5 Whole Stars!


“Fun, fun, fun! That’s definitely how I would describe Alice in Monologue Land by author Amy Gettinger. following the story of Alice Chalmers, adjunct English professor, single mom, and basically all around stressed out woman. And when she’s ‘encouraged’ or, more aptly, ‘required’ to read a part in her campus’ upcoming “Venus Monologues,” things in her carefully orchestrated life start to fall apart. A coveted job opens up, but Alice is certain that the conservative selection committee would not appreciate her participation in the Venus Monologues. Her Dean pretty much forces her to continue with her participation though, and, resigned, she does so. It’s at practice for the monologues, that she meets the “Venus Warriors,” an interesting group of fearless college women who aren’t afraid to discuss or do just about anything. Throw in some special attention from not one, but three men interested in her and the fact that some of her female students have gone missing, and you’ve got yourself one heck of wild ride of a book.

I so enjoyed Alice in Monologue Land. This was an exceptional read and I read it from cover to cover in just a few days. Author Amy Gettinger has done a fantastic job in creating characters that are funny, intriguing and exciting, sometimes all at once. The story is truly laugh out loud funny at times, and in one scene I actually laughed until I had tears in my eyes. Alice in Monologue Land is a book that would be enjoyed by any reader who enjoys a book with a fun female lead, a book with a little mystery, a little suspense and a little romance all wrapped in one, or just a plain good book. I certainly hope that Amy Gettinger is working on her next novel in this same vein, because I, for one, will be eagerly waiting to read it!”

~ Tracy Slowiak for Readers’ Favorite

I am overjoyed! Thanks, Tracy, for reading and reviewing!!! Alice was meant for just your type of audience!


All Promotional Stuff + A New Review for Roll with the Punches

MIAMI,  FL - MARCH 22: Derek E. Miller (L) and Alexis Krauss of Sleigh Bells perform at the Ultra Music Festival on March 22, 2013 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images)

Me in my wildest dreams

So this week, I posted a bunch of Chick Lit Chat HQ #chicklitmay #chicklitreads #chicklitmonth related blog posts, two with contests and prizes–got a lot of blog exposure, and some exposure for Roll with the Punches, my literary (cough) okay, humorous fiction baby.

And I wrote a new short story to include in another free (promotional) anthology for summer, featuring red bikinis. Good story–coming together well. I had nasty arm and back pain from too much computer use. Still do.

I tweeted and followed and tweeted and followed–not obsessively, but more than usual. I’ve got close to 300 (Woohoo!!) followers now, though my heart is not in tweeting at all. Sorry, Twitterverse.

I put Roll with the Punches on sale for 99 cents–>

And I FB posted and tweeted and blogged about that, forgetting to include the buy link to Amazon. (Thanks, Paul De Lancey for catching that.) Then I included the buy link and it either wouldn’t stay a full link or it blew away the sale art. I can’t figure out how to post using my own (well, not my own–I begged it at the last minute from Karan Eleni at Bliss Book Promotions–bless her wonderful, giant heart) graphic for the book being on sale WITH the Amazon link, which wants to post my book’s cover art. The two pix battled it out, and Amazon won.


I am also being featured at Dianne Bylo’s awesome Tome Tender Book Blog–go here–> She is sooooo generous with her time and her great reviews. Love her! She makes my spotlight look really fun, and she’s just a peach.

Fools Rush In, the April Fools Day free (promotional) anthology that I have a piece in has reached over 30,000 people–many, many downloads. Should translate to sales, right?

I got a wonderful Amazon review from the awesome Karin Gillespie, whose Bottom Dollar books I adore.

I did a quick promo with B Knights on Fiverr. Supposed to bring many sales!!! Yeah! But I must have done something wrong. Seriously.

I have great support! I do! My husband, my friends! Dianne Bylo! The incomparable Karan Eleni! Karin Gillespie! The large and very supportive Chick Lit Chat community!!!

And I sold 2 books. And 2 got borrowed. All that to sell 2 books. And loan out 2.

Yeah, I was in tears yesterday.

Then, I dug into the email I missed when I was mid-cold virus two weeks ago and found this Reader’s Favorite 5-star review–which apparently can’t be posted on Amazon, but which is pretty cool.

Book Review
Reviewed by Jack Magnus for Readers’ Favorite

“Roll with the Punches: A Story of Roller Derby, Alzheimer’s and Plagiarism is a chick lit novel written by Amy Gettinger. Rhonda’s relatively carefree existence gets entirely turned upside down in almost no time at all. The librarian and aspiring novelist finds out that the novel she’s been writing for over a year, and spent a full month finishing, has been plagiarized by the mysterious, best-selling author, Reynold Jackson. To make it even more painful a loss, the book’s a runaway bestseller and the fact that she had shopped the book to a number of agents means her reputation is totally shot. Things are even worse at home. Monica, the older sister who took care of things relative to their parents, has emigrated to Australia, her mother’s in the hospital and her father is acting very oddly.

Amy Gettinger’s romantic comedy, Roll with the Punches: A Story of Roller Derby, Alzheimer’s and Plagiarism, works on so many different levels that it’s awfully hard to categorize it under any single genre. The mystery of the purloined manuscript and the sleuthing efforts of Rhonda, her friend, Harley and the Amazon Rollergirls is first-rate, with plenty of red herrings and an unpredictable ending. Rhonda’s adventures in the roller derby world are marvelous as is her love of being active, strong and athletic — she makes a fabulous role model for young women. The issue of aging parents and the duties that seem to fall willy-nilly on the geographically closest child is a serious one that’s handled with love, humor, and respect. Finally, there’s the romance, something Rhonda’s not too good at, and how she resolves the sudden interest of not one, but two men. Yes, there are sex scenes in Roll with the Punches: A Story of Roller Derby, Alzheimer’s and Plagiarism, and they’re delightfully free of the usual cliches and filled with invention, frolic and warmth, and they were sheer pleasure to read. This is a big, warm-hearted, hilarious book that wraps the reader up within its covers and holds them there until the last page — and that’s a very good thing. Roll with the Punches: A Story of Roller Derby, Alzheimer’s and Plagiarism is most highly recommended.”

Go here for more info–>

So that made my freaking week. I really like Jack Magnus now. He gets me. He really gets me. I feel like Sally Field at the Oscars in 1985. If he ever needs a place to stay in SoCal, no problem. This is it.

And now you know how old I am.

Wow! I’m in the spotlight at Tome Tender Book Blog!



I am privileged this week to be featured on Dianne Bylo’s fabulous Tome Tender Book Blog. Dianne is a top-500 reviewer on Amazon and a VORACIOUS reader!!! She’s graciously offered to review and feature both of my books (plus the 2 anthologies) this week!!! What a fun ride! Thanks so much, Dianne!!!

And here’s her review of Alice in Monologue Land.

Alice cover 1

“Practice your snort laugh, you are going to need it and its okay if someone hears you, it means another author has done their job! Amy Gettinger has a story to tell and it’s one for regular women, and about regular women, because seriously, sometimes guys just don’t get many of a female’s issues or stumbling blocks in life. Meet Alice, single mom, struggling to make ends meet, be in three places at one time and now, a speaker for a unique women’s literary event. And she is trying to find a way out of it, desperately, because, really who wants to read a poem or anything about female body parts. Alice isn’t a groundbreaker, she’s good with not being up close and personal with her, um, you know…and the oppression women have felt over being comfortable with their bodies? Can’t call her a groundbreaker there, either.

Pretty sure you have figured out this is not drama, although Amy Gettinger does make some dramatic scenes come to life with a bit of mystery and edgy darkness. Ms. Gettinger is here to entertain and she succeeds admirably, from page one as she takes us through the chaotic life that belongs to her main character, Alice. From dark parking lots to students who are more than they seem, to pythons giving “hugs,” one must admire the character Alice or pray for her survival.
A fun-loving read, perfect to bring sunshine to even the cloudiest day, Ms. Gettinger lets us know it is okay to laugh at ourselves, just in case we can identify with Alice and that reading less than lofty tomes brings a certain sparkle and shine to the literary world. I might suggest you hang on tight, this tale has more spins than a tilt-a-whirl.”

I am happy dancing all day today!!! Hope you’ll go over and check out her blog post–you can win gift cards!!!

What’s on Page 45?



Wow! Two fun writing blogs about my book 2 days in a row! In honor of Chick Lit Month–May, on the Chick Lit Chat group on facebook. So what IS on page 45? Take a guess.

In Roll With the Punches, page 45 is where Rhonda realizes just how much hot water she’s in with her book having been stolen and her dad a sudden wild card—quite unpredictable and irrepressible (in layman’s terms: looney tunes) in his actions. Her mother is about to have surgery on a broken ankle, and Rhonda’s siblings are out of town. She’s really stressed out, waiting at the hospital. So take a guess what she does—what any red-blooded American librarian/novelist would do under such sudden, elemental, parental and societal pressure.


  1. She snorts a bunch of coke? Uh, nope. She’s too cheap to buy it. And being allergic, she’d probably sneeze it all into the next county. L. A. has plenty of drug problems without her adding to the mix.
  2. She gets drunk? Nah. Getting drunk is for wusses. Or for later in the day.
  3. She goes to the mall and buys out Nordstrom’s? Hah! With her credit score? Get serious. Besides, she still has t-shirts and shorts with a few good wearings left in them.
  4. She chows down on burgers and fries at McDonald’s? You have very bad taste in burgers. We may not let you guess any more.
  5. She does word scramble puzzles at the speed of light with the aid of her super color/letter sensitivity? BINGO! We have a winner! Of course, after that, she leaves her parents snoring in the hospital to hop in the car and head for the beach. A girl needs fresh air and gorgeous views to figure this hard stuff out.


Please join Rhonda in more of her rollicking, humorous chick lit mystery/adventure, full of fun and light romance: Roll with the Punches. Here is her blurb:

Falling is extra hard on tall people, like Rhonda Hamilton: the bone breakage, the bruises, the ignominy of it all. And Rhonda’s falling, hard. The latest novel from a reclusive national bestselling author is a twin to the manuscript she’s just finished and started marketing to agents. Some wild roller derby girls add a bludgeon of crazy to Rhonda’s hunt for the book thief, but can they find out the truth before her reputation tanks?

Plus, Dad is acting odd: storing milk in the garage and throwing away Rhonda’s clothes. Two drool-worthy guys offer to help, guys Rhonda would gladly fall for, if her life weren’t careening between crazy Dad, crazy-ass derby bouts and burlesque fundraisers, and crazy-inducing mudslides. Only one thing is sure: if she wants to nail the wily plagiarist and keep Dad safe, Rhonda had better stay up on her skates to avoid a very big fall.





Pippa Franks –

Laura Kenyon –

Jayne Denker:

Gina Henning –

Laura Chapman –

Celia Kennedy –

Jennifer Farwell –

Glynis Astie –

Tracy Krimmer –

Jillianne Hamilton –

Georgina Troy –

Jennifer Collin –

Samantha March –

Sky Greene –

Kathryn Biel –

Meredith Schorr –

Karen M. Cox –

Jennie Marts –

Serena Clarke –




A one-pound package of caramels from Whitney’s Goodies  Winner can choose their flavor from those listed below.

The Girl Next Door (Crème Caramels): A scrumptious, full-bodied caramel. Old fashioned, melt-in-your-mouth bliss!

The Charmer (Chocolate Crème Caramels): This smooth, chocolate cream caramel will add panache to your day. An exquisite and elegant morsel, simply irresistible.

The Movie Star (Orange Crème Caramels): A timeless treat that will satisfy caramel fans of all ages. “The stuff that dreams are made of!”

The Bombshell (Lemon Crème Caramels): A bodacious bit of heaven with a bold citrus pallet. They will leave you satisfied and refreshed. Caramels are a girl’s best friend!

Always a Lady (Rose Caramels): A delicate bouquet of rose essence infuses this lovely caramel: alluring, tantalizing and reminiscent of another era. They are perfect for weddings and bridal showers. A definite for ladies who lunch or breakfast at Tiffany’s.


To enter, answer the following question in the comments section below. You can enter at each of the blogs participating in the pageant. That’s 37 chances to win! Entrants must leave their full name, along with an e-mail address. A winner will be chosen via on Tuesday, May 19th. This giveaway is open to residents of the USA only.

In 4 or 5 words, why do you think Roll with the Punches would be a good read? (Be sure to leave your email address to enter.)


Miss Chick Lit Pageant & Gift Card Giveaway



Miss Chick Lit Pageant & Gift Card Giveaway

Hi, I’m Rhonda Hamilton, representing the great County of Orange in California in this pageant! Yeah, California is so big, they only let me represent a county, not the whole state. (If those stubborn bloggers who still think I plagiarized my own book had anything to say about it, I’d only get to represent Acorn Street, Anaheim, where I grew up.) But hey, I’m 35 and writing full-time!—my third novel in my Science Blows Bigtime Series. I love fast food, men with big noses (well, one in particular), and Frisbee-catching dogs. And I love beating Dad at hearts—which is rare. Old codger is a sly dog. My dream is one day to find the perfect roller derby knee pads that will bounce me back to a balanced standing position on impact. A girl can dream, can’t she?

Rhonda’s Swimsuit for the Competition

MIAMI,  FL - MARCH 22: Derek E. Miller (L) and Alexis Krauss of Sleigh Bells perform at the Ultra Music Festival on March 22, 2013 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images)

(Photo by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images)

Um, about that swimsuit. See, girly swimsuits? Who needs them? They’re totally archaic and require all that painful shaving. Ugh. Besides, when you’re built like a derby girl, let’s just say shorts and tank tops are a kinder option for both wearer and viewer. So after sweaty bouts, we rollergirls all head over to Hippo’s condo and dive into her community pool in our derby practice wear. One time, Cathy dove in with her skates on. LOL. Made swimming really hard. Then we all soak our sore, tattooed butts in the Jacuzzi with a brew in hand–a good brew, like a Fat Tire or a Sam Adams. Gotta admit we have good taste in beer. Of course, when I go swimming with my man at the new house, swimming suits are pretty much optional … but that’s another story.

Rhonda’s Talent Competition

Does interpretive roller skating count as a talent? Or I could show off my mean J-check. I am a gifted blocker, they say. And the derby girls and I do a corral move that will literally knock your socks off. Actually, if pressed to show a solitary talent, I could do 30 pull-ups in a row. Then a few dozen pushups and 200 sit-ups. Yeah, I know. Stellar, huh? Pretty sure I’m gonna win this thing.

Interview Question

Interviewer: So, Rhonda, if you were stopped by a police office for speeding, what excuse would you give for the rush?

Rhonda: You’re kidding, right? Me? Stopped by the cops? Never! I mean N-E-V-E-R! I am a totally law-abiding citizen. Now, Harley gets stopped every time we go out together. She’s collected a list of the traffic cops in the area. She knows them by name and knows just how to charm each one to let her off the hook, mostly. It *may* involve Starbucks and Krispy Kreme gift cards. Or not.

Interviewer: But if you were stopped … Surely, it happened once.

Rhonda: Oh, you mean that incident. Um. Well, my guy had gotten a bit drunk. Okay, snockered. So I was driving, and suddenly, he was all over me. And that nose—well, I guess I’m a sucker for attention to certain parts of my anatomy. In all the passion resulting, my foot got a bit heavy, and … Let’s just say the—er—cop that stopped me got a view of more skin than everybody saw at the Halloween Derby Fundraiser before the brawl. You’ll have to read about it. Um, I’m done now. Bye.

Interviewer: You’re blushing!

Rhonda: I am not.

Interviewer: Are too.

Rhonda: Shut up or I will punch you.

Read more about Rhonda Hamilton in Roll with the Punches at


You too can be a derby queen, representing your own street in the pageant with a $100 gift card! The Grand Prize for this international drawing will be:

US/Canada winner – $100 gift card to Sephora

UK winner – £65 gift card to Lush Cosmetics

Australia winner – $125AUD to Mecca


 Participating blogs:

Cait Reynolds –

Gina Henning –

Tracie Banister –

Amy Gettinger –

Glynis Astie –

Tracy Krimmer –

Maggie Le Page –

Kathryn Biel –

Laura Chapman –

Contest Instructions: Answer the question below in my comments section in order to be entered in the giveaway. Be sure to include your email address with your answer so we can get in touch with you if you win! You can enter at each of the 19 blogs listed above, giving you 19 chances to WIN! A winner will be chosen via on Monday, May 18th.

Interviewer: So, blog visitor, if you were stopped by a police office for speeding, what excuse would you give for the rush? Don’t forget to include your email address in the reply.