Miss Chick Lit Pageant & Gift Card Giveaway
Hi, I’m Rhonda Hamilton, representing the great County of Orange in California in this pageant! Yeah, California is so big, they only let me represent a county, not the whole state. (If those stubborn bloggers who still think I plagiarized my own book had anything to say about it, I’d only get to represent Acorn Street, Anaheim, where I grew up.) But hey, I’m 35 and writing full-time!—my third novel in my Science Blows Bigtime Series. I love fast food, men with big noses (well, one in particular), and Frisbee-catching dogs. And I love beating Dad at hearts—which is rare. Old codger is a sly dog. My dream is one day to find the perfect roller derby knee pads that will bounce me back to a balanced standing position on impact. A girl can dream, can’t she?
Rhonda’s Swimsuit for the Competition
Um, about that swimsuit. See, girly swimsuits? Who needs them? They’re totally archaic and require all that painful shaving. Ugh. Besides, when you’re built like a derby girl, let’s just say shorts and tank tops are a kinder option for both wearer and viewer. So after sweaty bouts, we rollergirls all head over to Hippo’s condo and dive into her community pool in our derby practice wear. One time, Cathy dove in with her skates on. LOL. Made swimming really hard. Then we all soak our sore, tattooed butts in the Jacuzzi with a brew in hand–a good brew, like a Fat Tire or a Sam Adams. Gotta admit we have good taste in beer. Of course, when I go swimming with my man at the new house, swimming suits are pretty much optional … but that’s another story.
Rhonda’s Talent Competition
Does interpretive roller skating count as a talent? Or I could show off my mean J-check. I am a gifted blocker, they say. And the derby girls and I do a corral move that will literally knock your socks off. Actually, if pressed to show a solitary talent, I could do 30 pull-ups in a row. Then a few dozen pushups and 200 sit-ups. Yeah, I know. Stellar, huh? Pretty sure I’m gonna win this thing.
Interviewer: So, Rhonda, if you were stopped by a police office for speeding, what excuse would you give for the rush?
Rhonda: You’re kidding, right? Me? Stopped by the cops? Never! I mean N-E-V-E-R! I am a totally law-abiding citizen. Now, Harley gets stopped every time we go out together. She’s collected a list of the traffic cops in the area. She knows them by name and knows just how to charm each one to let her off the hook, mostly. It *may* involve Starbucks and Krispy Kreme gift cards. Or not.
Interviewer: But if you were stopped … Surely, it happened once.
Rhonda: Oh, you mean that incident. Um. Well, my guy had gotten a bit drunk. Okay, snockered. So I was driving, and suddenly, he was all over me. And that nose—well, I guess I’m a sucker for attention to certain parts of my anatomy. In all the passion resulting, my foot got a bit heavy, and … Let’s just say the—er—cop that stopped me got a view of more skin than everybody saw at the Halloween Derby Fundraiser before the brawl. You’ll have to read about it. Um, I’m done now. Bye.
Interviewer: You’re blushing!
Rhonda: I am not.
Interviewer: Are too.
Rhonda: Shut up or I will punch you.
Read more about Rhonda Hamilton in Roll with the Punches at http://amzn.com/B00V5B3W12
You too can be a derby queen, representing your own street in the pageant with a $100 gift card! The Grand Prize for this international drawing will be:
US/Canada winner – $100 gift card to Sephora
UK winner – £65 gift card to Lush Cosmetics
Australia winner – $125AUD to Mecca
Cat Lavoie – http://www.catlavoie.com/2/post/2015/05/chicklitmay-miss-chick-lit-pageant-gift-card-giveaway.html
Celia Kennedy – http://womanreinventsself.blogspot.com/2015/05/miss-chick-lit-2015.html
Engy Albasel Neville – http://www.engyalbaselneville.com/miss-chick-lit-pageant-gift-giveaway/
Cait Reynolds – http://wp.me/p4jZS8-b5
Franky Brown – http://frankybrown.com/?p=383
Monique McDonell –http://www.moniquemcdonellauthor.com/blog/miss-chicklit-2015-celebrating-chicklit-may
Rachel L. Hamm – http://rlhammauthor.com/2015/05/10/miss-chick-lit-pageant/
Laura Kenyon – http://wp.me/p28QA1-1JP
Gina Henning – http://www.ginahenning.com/blog/2015/5/3/miss-chick-lit-pageant
Tracie Banister – http://traciebanister.blogspot.com/2015/05/miss-chick-lit-2015-chicklitmay.html
Amy Gettinger – http://wp.me/p4080t-25
Glynis Astie – http://blog.glynisastie.com/2015/05/miss-chick-lit-2015.html
Tracy Krimmer – http://www.tracykrimmer.com/misschicklit/
Maggie Le Page – http://hellopreciousbliss.com/
Kathryn Biel – http://kathrynbiel.blogspot.com/2015/05/miss-chick-lit.html
Laura Chapman – http://www.change-the-word.com/2015/05/chicklitmay-miss-chick-lit-2015.html
Contest Instructions: Answer the question below in my comments section in order to be entered in the giveaway. Be sure to include your email address with your answer so we can get in touch with you if you win! You can enter at each of the 19 blogs listed above, giving you 19 chances to WIN! A winner will be chosen via Random.org on Monday, May 18th.
Interviewer: So, blog visitor, if you were stopped by a police office for speeding, what excuse would you give for the rush? Don’t forget to include your email address in the reply.
Great post Amy 🙂 x
Thanks! Having fun today!
I would say that I have a sick child at home and I need to get there ASAP! (I probably do!)
Yay! Thanks for playing!
Ha ha “Interpretive roller skating” as a talent? Gotta love the creativity! Rhonda is definitely the most unique of our Miss Chick Lit contestants. I’m glad she was willing to play with us on this blog hop even though beauty pageants probably aren’t her thing. 😉
Yes, Rhonda’s middle name is Unique. How did you guess? All I can say is there’s one in every crowd. She’s like the Sandra Bullock/Miss Congeniality of this pageant circuit. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
Awesome post!! Love Rhonda’s style! She’s one tough chick lit chick! 🙂
Thanks, she’s quite a handful. Lotta raw energy there!!
Roller derby is DEFINITELY a talent
I thank you and Rhonda thanks you. Got skates?
not for a long time. i did work at a roller skating rink from age 14-16, though
You should read this book. The rink (and the derby girls) feature prominently!!
I actually was stopped twice – and twice I got away with a warning. First time I cried. I wasn’t trying to get out of it, I was freaked out. Second time, I don’t know, maybe I was cute!
I think the cute thing is right on the money. You are too cute to get a ticket. :-))
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Great descriptions we really got a good “view” of your character. 😉
Thanks. Rhonda is very visual. She approves.
I would start crying and just say I didn’t notice.
LOL–very good strategy!
I have to pee officer!!!
groogruxking40 @ gmail dot com
A likely story …
I’ve never used this, but someone I know has gotten out of four speeding tickets by telling the police officer she has diarrhea and needs to get to a toilet.
I’d let her go. Wouldn’t you?
If I was ever stopped by a police officer for speeding I would probably have a mini-panic attack and start crying uncontrollably. I’ve never been pulled over [knock on wood to keep it that way] and I would imagine that I wouldn’t even be able to speak coherently, let alone come up with an excuse. Contemplating a clever excuse now, I would probably tell the officer that I could feel that I had just started my period and that I was rushing to the nearest store to buy some tampons. Men usually get flustered when you talk about feminine hygiene. Let’s hope that I never get pulled over and won’t have to try to talk my way out of a ticket!
LOL. Great one. You are so right about men.
I would say that I have to go to the bathroom, lol.
I think it would be fun to say I’m pregnant, just found out about it–it’s one of those surprise pregnancies–and I’m crowning as we speak. LOL
Whoa, your chick is bad-ass. I’d vote for her.
Thank you. She’s fun at cowboy bars.
say you’ve waiting to go to the bathroom
bn100candg at hotmail dot com
That would do it!
Our beauty pageant is officially over, and a winner has been chosen via Random.org. Drum roll please . . .
The winner of a $100 Sephora gift card is Arielle Deltoro!
Rhonda Hamilton is crushed. She didn’t win the pageant itself, but was voted … Miss Mortality. LOL Have a great week.